Saturday, November 14, 2015

35 lessons I have learned in my 35 years of life!

Selfie game on fleek (only took 30 shots)

Today is my 35th birthday!! Yes I am telling you my age. A feminine faux pas, but this blog is all about living authentically and I don't really care if you know my age :-) I am proud of these 35 years. Proud of the things that I have accomplished and feeling great about my continued growth.

They say that with age comes wisdom so I wanted to pass on some wisdom from my 35 years of life. Some are my own words and some are pearls of wisdom that I have picked up from other people. There is not order of importance. Read 30 here and then watch my video at the end for the top 5.

Raise your glass to 35 years and 35+ more! Salud!!

35. Every relative isn't family and every buddy isn't a friend.
34. You only have you.
32. You don't need all of that stuff.
31. Upgrade your squad.
30. Eat great food!
29. Travel and see the world.
28. Follow your passions.
27. Debt is the DEVIL.
26. Everyone has an opinion. Yours is the only one that matters.
25. Marriage is one of the more importance decisions EVER!!
24. So is divorce.
23. Listen to your gut.
22. You don't need to dress half (or totally) naked to get a mans attention. Mystery is sexy.
21. Take responsibility for your happiness and mistakes.
20. Do as much good as possible.
19. The things that you did not like about your body at 15, you'll love about your body at 35 (ie big eyes, big lips, big hair, and my CURVES).
18. If he really likes you, he will wait.
17. No means No.
16. Sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of another and that is OKAY.
15. Party less and study more in college.
14. If someone wants to spend time with you they will find a way. If not they will find an excuse.
13. Actions speak louder than words.
12. Love is conditional so never stop working to earn it and keep it.
11.Pay yourself first.
10. You are not Cinderella. Stop waiting to be saved and save yourself.
9. Ask yourself daily how do you want to feel. Then create your day to feel that way.
8. Failure is a part of life. Embrace it as it means that you are growing.
7.He is watching. Give him something great to look up to.
6. Life goes on......

Head on over to my Youtube Channel to check out the Top 5!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

What are boundaires and why you need to get some

If you checked out my last video then you know that I just finished reading a book called Boundaries. Boundaries are the line that lets you know what you are responsible for and what others are responsible for. My basic responsibilities are my body, emotions, health, and finances.

What I am not responsible for are other people's emotions, other people's finances, and other people's comfort with what I decide for myself.

When you start to put up boundaries you will probably feel some resistance from others and even to yourself!! If you have never said no or if you have never said what you wanted, then people will probably feel uncomfortable with the fact that you are finally doing so. Be strong! Living outside of the box takes some growth and pushing. It is a tightly tapped that that you have around you and getting out of it may requires some scissors and pulling at the tabs.

If you follow me on Instagram, than you know that I recently had some push back when I decided to clear my life of anyone who didn't add value. Their reaction showed me that I made the right decision.

Watch my latest video and let me know what boundaries issues that you are currently dealing with.


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Friday, October 16, 2015

There is a chance....

There is a chance that you may think I'm a bitch.
That you may think to yourself "How dare she!"
"How dare she say no!"
"How dare she stand up for herself!"
"How dare she not do want I want her to!"

There is a chance that I may offend you.
That I may force you to question what you think is true.
That my veganism, my confidence, my debt free journey, my trials, my voice, my resistance, my strength, my stubbornness may rub you the wrong way because it goes against what you believe to be true about me, about women, about the world.

There is a chance that you may not want me around.
That you wish that I would just shut up, go along, not make waves.
And because I don't, the next easiest thing for you to do it dismiss me.
Instead of you looking in the mirror it is easier for you to build a wall between us so you don't have to see me or examine yourself.

There is a chance that I may anger you.
That you may feel that I push too much and that it is your duty to push back.
You may judge me because you feel as though I am judging you.
You don't know that I too am just a person trying to find their path in this world and that if I push too hard it because I long for connection that comes from sharing and being vulnerable with another person.

There is a chance that you may feel all of these negative things......but......
There is chance that you might lean into the awkwardness. That you might actually listen, then share, then listen, then share.
There is a chance that you may examine your truths to find out which ones are truly yours and which ones you have just been carrying around for others.

There is a chance that my joy can spread and that you too may feel the courage and strength to break out of the box that surrounds you. That you can see me dancing in the sun and know that there is enough light for us all.

There is a chance that we can continue to make small steps towards a more fulfilled life. That we may challenge each other and also give each other room to grow. That you may see the good and bad in me and it be okay. That you may hold on when I need your strength and let go when I have my own.

There is a chance...and it is a chance that I am willing to take.

Written by Leolin Bowen

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Saturday, October 10, 2015

Youtube: Introduction into my debt journey

I don't know how it happened. Okay I do know how it happened. Years of reckless spending. Not knowing how to say no to myself. Spending without a plan. Paying the minimum payments. Spending now with future money. And thinking that it was okay because everyone is doing it. I'm talking about debt and I am knee deep in $66,500 worth of it.

After years of thinking minimum payments were okay, I have decided that I will not longer use debt. For anything!!! My focus is to pay off debt and build wealth. How am I doing this? I am following Dave Ramsey's 7 baby steps with the first step being save $1000 (Done!!) and the second step is paying off all of your debts, except your house, using the debt snowball. The third step will be to then save up 3-6 months of expenses.

Click on the link to hear more about my story and leave a comment about your debt journey. Don't even know where to begin? Have you gotten started or are you debt free? I would love to hear!

Join me on my journey to becoming debt free!!


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Friday, September 25, 2015

I am loving YouTube: Follow me there :-)

I have been loving posting videos on YouTube. I love talking in front of the camera, having conversations with viewers in the comment section, and helping people to gain the courage to live authentically. I'm going to be over there for awhile as that place feels right for me to share my stories and thoughts right now. I hope that you can join me and continue to the discussion. I'll be back here from time to time, but right now this face is meant for video :-)

Oh and if you would be so kind, if you see anything that really resonates with you, please feel free to subscribe, like, comment and share! This journey is more fun when you have friends around.

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Sunday, August 23, 2015

3 lessons I learned from my divorce

Divorce sucks!!! My divorce ripped away the very fabric of who I was and who I thought that would be. I lost friends, family, and money, but like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes after the storm has passed this is a great time for me to reflect on my life. Please watch my video to learn about the lessons that I learned from my divorce.

After watching please like, share, and comment about what lessons have you learned from hard times in your life. Let's use these lessons to become better and to make better decision in the future!

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Friday, July 31, 2015

Standing strong when you have to stand alone

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” 
― Harvey Fierstein

If you have been following me for a while then you know that I am a vegan. Being a vegan is a very important part of who I am. It influences what I eat, where I shop, and what forms of entertainment that I follow. People always ask me what the hardest part of being a vegan is. Is it the food? Not being able to wear leather? Do you miss zoos? What most people are surprised to find out is that dealing with other people is the hardest part of being a vegan. Standing alone in a room full of meat eaters. Staying calm and confident while I sometimes had to defend myself and my beliefs against people who either I expected to support me or from complete strangers who feel that my ordering a veggie burger was somehow a personal attack against them.

If you every made the decision to go against the grain then you probably have some experience with this. You made a decision to do something, ANYTHING, different and to some people it’s as though you have renounced your religion. The thing is, that if you want to make a change in your life you are going to have to get comfortable with standing alone.

Right now people know you by who you always been. For the majority of my life I have been the “nice” one. The one who never put up a fight, the one who never spoke her mind, the one who was worried soooooo much about what other people thought that I kept quiet to make them feel better. That person was unhappy because she felt like no one really knew her. She felt like she was surrounded by people who didn’t really love her. And how could they? She never really let them know her. My first act of rebellion came when I became vegan. I final decided to completely overhaul my life choices to live in a way that was truly aligned with my beliefs. And you know what happened? I spent a lot of time standing alone. Sure I had some people support me, but in the end the decision to stop using animals was MY decision and I had to stand on my own two feet and take off the mask of the person who I was trying to be. Friends, family, and strangers made fun of me. They thought that my decision wouldn’t last. They criticized my choices. At times I tried to shove my decisions down their throat. At times I got so angry because I wanted them, no I needed them to support me. I needed their support to validate my choice.

I have been vegan for 6 years now and let’s just say I don’t need anyone’s support to know that I am living the best life for me. You want to know what’s interesting though? Because I stopped seeking out the approval of others I have much more support than I ever had. And because I have been through the firing squad of judgement, I am no longer afraid to speak up for myself.

So how does that happen? How do you stand strong even if you have to stand alone? Get comfortable with discomfort. Who you are at this moment is comfortable not only to you but to those around you. People expect you to act a certain way. Humans are creatures of habit and you have to understand that when you make the decision to do something different you are going to upset status quo. So sit with the discomfort. Don’t use the feeling of fear to run back to your safe space. One way to get comfortable with discomfort is to try something new. Go to the movies alone. Learn a new language or a new dance. Do something……ANYTHING new and you will realize that, “Oh my goodness what the fuck am I doing” feeling isn’t so bad and you won’t die from butterflies is your stomach and doing something new isn’t so bad.

You also have to understand that people’s critique of you is rarely about you and it’s mostly about them. Your choice to be different is probably highlighting the fact that they are not (look at my Psychology degree being put to good use) and its easier to lash outwards than it is to look inwards. It’s okay. If they love you and truly care about you, then they will come around. They will respect your courage to go after what you want and you never know, they could one day be asking you to help them make some positive changes in their life. 

Mahatma Ghandhi is quoted as saying, “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” Notice how the first 3 steps have you standing alone, but it is worth it for the last one.