Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Regrets

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been.”
Kurt Vonnegut



"Shouldda,couldda, wouldda. I wish I did, I wish didn't, I wish I did more of. If I knew, I can't believe I did"...Yada Yada Yada...all words of regrets.

I have had a lot of time this past year to reflect on the choices that I have made in my life. I am fully aware and fully believe that my current state of affairs are a result of all the choices that I have made. Sure some things have "happened" to me, some things that I could not control, but at the end of the day I am where I am because of what I have done.

Now because I believe that, it would be easy for me to slip into a darkened state of regret. Crying over all the mistakes that I have made and all the opportunities that I have missed. Even hating myself for not being in a position that I always felt that I would be by this age. Looking in envy at my friends from high school thinking, "that could have been me".

In reality though, because I believe that I have control over my life, it gives me a sense of power to change my future, to change the path that I am on and to move in a different direction. Mistakes have been made and will continue to be made, and all that you can do is learn from them. Learn from the bad decisions and the less than desired outcomes. Don't judge yourself and do not  beat yourself up, because there are enough people out there who are willing to do that to do that for you. Use your regret not as a crutch, but as a tool to evaluate your next course of action.

If you regret not having a close relationship with a friend or family member, call them and start one...
If you regret all the credit card debt you have, make a plan/budget and stick to it...
If you regret the weight you have gained, get that ice cream out the house and become a vegan ( ;-))

It might not be easy...hell it might even be a little painful...but you know what is the most painful thing....being old on your death bed saying, "I wish I could have".

My son is currently 3 and kids his age do not have regrets. They are not sitting up at night thinking, "I wish that I did not say no to my mommy " or " I wish that I did not throw a tantrum when I was out with daddy", they just learn from their mistakes and move on. And look how happy they are!

Whatever it is make a change... decide today that you will no longer regret that past. Make a decision to do something different...Make a decision to step outside who you "were" and move into who you "are".....Make a choice...apologize to yourself and others, for any pain you have caused, and begin to move into the direction that you would like to go.....5 years from now think about how awesome your life could be if you made a decision to no longer live in regret!

“No such thing as time travel, he'd rumbled patiently, once. Only live with what you've done, and try in the future to do what you're happy to live with.”
Richard K. Morgan

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